You will find short stories on this site. Most are autobiographical. Some are fiction.

HORSE-SHIT

Have you ever heard someone say, upon recoiling from a bite of foul food, “This tastes like horse-shit.” One time, upon hearing this comment, I asked, “How do you know?” “Know what?” he shot back. “ How do you know it tastes like horse-shit? Did you ever taste it?” “NO!” he protested. “Well, I can tell you that this tastes nothing like horse-shit”, I said. “I suppose you have tasted horse-shit,” he replied defiantly. “I know of what I speak.”, I said. “Horse-shit tastes like rotten straw. I’ll tell you how I know.”

I was at the county fair with a group of my buddies from Roosevelt Junior High. We were standing alongside the dunk tank. There was a group of boys of our age, on the opposite side of the tank from us. They were unfamiliar to us. They were probably from our rival school, Woodrow Wilson Junior High.

A man in a business suit was perched on the dunk chair. He was probably a volunteer from the Chamber of Commerce. He was taunting everyone who attempted to hit the very small, bright red metal target below him. Evidently, he believed that it was impossible for anyone to hit it. I was hoping that the arrogant bastard would get dunked, but no one who tried, was able to hit the tiny target.

A lean, muscular man stepped up to try his luck with the throwing the ball. He took it. He tossed it in his hand, getting a feel for its weight. He focused on the target. He wound up, and with the certainty of a baseball pitcher, he threw that wooden ball with force and deadly accuracy. A loud click was heard as the ball struck the target and released the lever securing the chair. The man in the suit fell, like an astonished rag doll, into the tank. With my mouth wide open and head back, I yelled my approval of the impressive bullseye pitch. At that moment, there was a second accurate pitcher at the tank. This time, it was one of the Wilson boys. He threw a handful of horse-shit from the other side of the tank and scored a direct hit on my face and into my open mouth.